Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Turning in My Mom Card

Many years ago, a humor columnist by the name of Erma Bombeck wrote a piece entitled "Where Does a Mother Go to Resign?"  The title, if not the actual content (which gets lost amid many brilliant writings of hers I've read over the years) has always stuck with me for some reason.

Today has been one of those days.  The days that make me want to throw my hands up, declare adulting too difficult an endeavor, and retreat to my blanket fort with my crayons.  And maybe a stiff drink.

Our home has been a war zone today.  Kaylee (age 9) and Dalton (11) are frequently known to bicker, but today was worse than usual.  There has been name-calling, kicking, shoving, grappling, and biting. Jonathan (5 tomorrow) kicked Michael (6) in the face, knocking out his loose tooth in the process.  And all I could think was, Well, at least it was the loose one.  There have been accusations of Dalton shooting Michael and Preston (age 8) with the teenagers' airsoft pistol.  And then Dalton has the nerve to act like he doesn't understand why when I inform him it's inappropriate to observe that his internet connection "sucks balls." *facepalm* 

I feel you, Erma.

And through all this, I've been doing my best to prepare the fondant, bake some of the cakes (5 13x9 sheets) needed for this weekend's birthday cake, and hopefully even get the buttercream made up.  So far, I have the fondant made and 3 of the cakes baked.  I should probably be satisfied with that and just say I'll do the rest tomorrow.  I don't plan to decorate until Friday anyway.

I'm doing so many new and different things with this project.  The cake design itself is ambitious.  I settled late last night on a carved, three-dimensional Mystery Machine, since both boys can agree on an interest in Scooby-Doo.  Perry the Platypus was arguably 3D, but the Mystery Machine is going to be a touch more difficult, and quite a bit larger.  I liked the marshmallow fondant recipe I used for Perry, so I made a couple batches for our Mystery Machine.  Hopefully, it will be enough.  I tinted one the teal blue of the base color of the van, and I left the other white to be used for all the other colors.

I'm trying a new cake recipe as well.  I've always just used boxed mixes in the past, but they're very soft and light, and this cake will need to stand up to quite a bit of stacking and carving, so I need something a bit more dense.  I'm using the mix-based vanilla cake recipe from Rose Bakes, and so far, it looks fantastic.  More info to come once I've actually worked with it (and eaten it, yum).

Squeee! :D
And y'all.  I simply have to share this with you.  Anybody that bakes, listen up.  I have found the Holy Grail of pan greasing.  It's called Miracle Pan Release, and basically, it's a homemade version of Wilton's Cake Release.  I've never used Cake Release, so I can't compare the two, but if you decide to use this stuff, be careful.  They are not kidding when they say it literally falls out of the pan.  It's a thing of beauty.  Look at this pan.  LOOK AT IT!!!  No cake film left behind.  Just shiny, aluminum bliss.  Three ingredients.  Just whisk it up and brush it on with a pastry brush.  If you don't have a pastry brush, I'm sure a paper towel would do the trick.  Try it.  Really, go bake a cake.  I'll wait.

The kids seem to be gearing up for another round anyway. :/


  1. No, I think I'm done making foods today. However, please explain to me how it works and I am gonna try it some other day. Wonder if it works on brownies? I need a triple fudge, chocolate swirl batch of brownies

  2. It's really simple. I linked to the original page, but it's just 1/2 cup each of oil, crisco, and flour, whisked together and brushed on the pan. She says it's shelf stable, but if you only wanted to make a little bit, I'd say a tablespoon of each? I don't see why it wouldn't work for brownies. Let me know if you try it.